Suicide Squad: Warriors Edition
by Jake Castaway
Summary: A bunch of drunk SkyClan warriors launch an attack on the four Clans. Warning: random :)
It was a shockingly-bright night that SkyClan decided to go to war against the four Clans at the lake.

Of course, all the cats were drunk at the time.

…

"I shay we go to teh lake raight naow!" A wasted brown-tabby cat, wobbling from the effects of the rum, screeched. "Himiderestar is right," a cat next to him meowed.

"No! I say we attack tomorrow in the early morning." A tomcat opposite Himiderestar objected, the beer spilling from her goblet. A few cats nodded at the suggestion. "Sadistguyclaw, that's preposterous!" A voice rose above the others.

"Shut up, Danderestripe!" Sadistguyclaw yowled. "Everybody who wants to go with me, go with me!" An elder, a kitten whose eyes hadn't opened yet, and a cat with one front leg and one back leg stood up (or, at least, tried to).

"Anybody ELSE?" Sadistguyclaw asked. "You, Tsundereface!" Tsundereface reddened. "Baka, baka, baka!" She yowled. "I don't love you, or anything!" The entire of SkyClan stared. She ran off into the night.

"Blasted tsundere." Sadistguyclaw muttered. He turned to face the elder, the kitten, and the two-legged cat. "Fine, I'll take you guys. What are your names?" "I'm Horrendouslyuglyguy," the elder wheezed.

"Your name suits you." Sadistguyclaw remarked. "Thank you," Horrendouslyuglyguy said in gratitude. He hobbled over to Sadistguyclaw's side. Sadistguyclaw flinched. "Moving on…you, kit, what's your name?" "I'm Lolitakit,"the kitten replied, beaming. "Okay, Lolitakit, come over here."

"And, oh Lord…" Sadistguyclaw did a double take. "…What's your name? No, wait, first of all, what happened to your right front leg and your right back leg?" "I ate my right front, and the back leg got stolen by a badger." The two-legged cat replied hoarsely.

"Okay, uh, oh my God…" Sadistguyclaw nearly barfed from the sight of the two-legged cat. "…What's your name?" "Hoarsely," Hoarsely replied hoarsely.

"Okay. Here are your badges. Anyone else wants to join me?" Tsundereface re-appeared the side of the forest. "Baka, you know I don't want to join your group. I mean, I don't love you. No wait, I hate you!" She ran away again.

Sadistguyclaw frowned. "Tsundere," he muttered. "I want to join!" A voice came out.

Sadistguyclaw's eyes widened. "On second thought, we aren't accepting any more new members." "No, I want to join. I want to be with you, Sadistguyclaw!" Out of the shadows stepped a grinning cat thrice the size of Sadistguyclaw. She ran to him and made her tail stroke Sadistguyclaw's back. Sadistguyclaw gulped. "Fine, you can join, Yanderestorm."

Yanderestorm laughed in glee. "Okay, let's take a selfie first before we attack the Clans." She took out her iPhone 21 and took the pic with the group. "Okay, so from now on, we are a separate clan from SkyClan. We are now MoemoeClan!" Sadistguyclaw declared. Himiderestar nodded, not really caring. She was dancing to 'Just be Friends' by Megurine Luka with her best friend, Kyou Fujibayashi.

"Fine. You'll see the wrath of Moemoeclan soon enough." Sadistguyclaw said, gritting his teeth. "Moemoeclan, assemble!" They formed a circle around Sadistguyclaw. "Okay, so we each have a weapon." Sadistguyclaw dug in a large sack and began to bring weapons out.

"Horrendouslyuglyguy, you have the baseball bat. Lolitakit, you get the shurikens. I get the nun-chucks. The chainsaw will go to Hoarsely. And…" Sadistguyclaw froze. The last weapon in the bag paired with the last cat without a weapon was definitely NOT a good pair. "Uh, on second thought, Yanderestorm will ge the nun-chucks and…" "No! I get the last weapon!" Yanderstorm was smiling, but it was in a menacing kind of way. "I'm the leader of MoemoeClan, and I say…" "No! I want the last weapon!"

Sadistguyclaw's eyes widened, and then he sighed in defeat. "Alright. Yanderestorm will have the chainsaw." Yanderstorm's eyes gleamed in joy. "How wonderful! The chainsaw! I love it!"

"Okay, MoemoeClan, go!" The cats ran out into the night, Sadistguyclaw in the lead. "Himiderestar, the idiots have gone." Himderestar's other best friend, Narutotail reported. "Let them be. They're not MoemoeClan. I know their real name." Kyou replied. "What is it?" Narutotail asked.

"Suicide Squad."

And together, the remaining members of SkyClan danced to 'When the Whistle Blows' by DJ Snake.


End file.
